With apologies to David Letterman, Paul Shaffer, and anyone who thought “how bad could it be?”
10. Union dues are not capped forever; they can go up
Think less about the price tag, more about the variable-rate subscription price for your streaming channels. Increases happen. Refunds do not. Still fewer member perks than Netflix.
9. You are not the author of the contract
Union leadership negotiates. Members vote yes or no. No edits. No custom requests.
8. Exclusive representation means no side deals
Once the union speaks for you, you stop speaking for yourself. Even if you disagree. Especially then.
7. A “yes” vote does not guarantee a first contract
It guarantees bargaining. Sometimes lengthy. Sometimes stalled. Always described as progress. Often takes more than a year. Sometimes never happens.
6. Unions can discipline their own members
Yes. Fines, trials, and penalties are part of the package. Nearly $1000 per person for workers crossing a picket line to work in a grocery store.
5. Criticizing union leadership can violate internal union rules
Free speech applies. With internal conditions that you only speak nicely about the union.
4. Dues are collected regardless of performance
Satisfied or not, the meter keeps running. No refunds. No cancellations. (except in right-to-work states)
3. Grievances and strikes are controlled by union leadership
You get representation. You do not get the wheel.
2. Leaving is harder than joining
Once you are in, the employer is legally required to stay out of it. Voting a union out is incredibly difficult. And against their rules (see #6).
1. Union incentives do not always align with individual member outcomes
Large organizations behave like large organizations. Even when they promise otherwise. Just ask the federally appointed monitor overseeing UAW compliance with the rules.
Why this matters
This is not an argument against unions. It is an argument against surprises and the quiet loss of choice that can follow an uninformed decision.
If employees are going to vote on union representation, they need more than slogans, empty union promises, and calls for solidarity. They need to understand how unionization works, including the rules, obligations, and trade-offs involved.
One thing we consistently tell employees during a union election is this:
This is the moment to read the rules and the fine print, not just listen to the union pitch.
Voting is easy. Living with the outcome is what lasts.
