We can start with the obvious — fear and approachability just don’t mix.
The last thing any employee wants to do in a day is to approach their scary boss. And on the flip side — approaching a leader who is reacting out of fear will only reinforce for both sides the desire to avoid similar interactions in the future.
Controlling others through fear is the original sin of unapproachable leaders, and it’s one sure sign of a manager with a fairly light toolbox. Workplace bullies, villains and tyrants are superior at motivating their employees in just two respects; their victims, forced to choose between fight or flight, are well motivated to quit without warning and to sign union authorization cards. Management through intimidation is a zero-sum game in the short term and eventually everyone – management, employees and the business — loses.
A future post will delve into how even the most empathetic leaders can be (inadvertently) frightening. I’ll share some of the signs that your employees find you too intimidating to approach with confidence. (Hint: you find yourself surrounded by yes people.) And we’ll cover some ideas on what you can do about it. But first let’s look at the far more common problem – you are afraid yourself.
The Fog of Fear
The term “fog of war” is used to describe the level of ambiguity in situational awareness experienced by soldiers in battle. While the term is open to interpretation it boils down to this; in arenas of chaos and uncertainty, it’s damn difficult to see the big picture with clarity and confidence, particularly for the boots on the ground. And in that fog of ambiguity and uncertainty, as good people overload and act impulsively, mistakes, often tragic, do happen.
Anxious workplace leaders can generate a similar “fog of fear.” And in that fog employees are conflicted, withholding, unfocused and far less likely to approach their boss until crisis is imminent. Forced to operate with conflicting (or no) information and denied the clear vision of a confident leader, employees can’t see let alone buy into the larger mission.
Our fog bound leader may be afraid for any number of reasons. He may be nervous about the future, his own or the company’s. She may be haunted by past poor judgment, or insecure about her current ability to keep up. He may see his direct reports first and foremost as competitors, or as a poor reflection on his management style. She may be in denial about the elephant in the room; he may be prone to slap a happy-faced sticky note on any and all early warning signs.
It’s normal for even the most confident leaders to have moments of fear and uncertainty. (Actually, a certain amount of self-doubt driven process checking is a very good thing.) But when a leader starts looking at the workplace through fear-fogged glasses, the haze will spread through the worksite in a hurry.
Fearful leaders react and reason defensively. Is an associate’s idea truly without merit, or merely challenging? Is there really no straight answer to a question, or is the leader just squeamish about sharing it? Is this employee truly more qualified, or just less threatening?
Back on the shop floor, when presented with escalating ambiguity, eventually even the sharpest minds shut down. Too much nonsense and we all eventually resort to autopilot for lack of a directive that makes complete sense. Great suggestions stop. Important questions don’t get asked. Problems aren’t sought out and reported. All communication becomes suspect. Trust evaporates. People just get tired and give up. And followers stop approaching their leader.
Even under the best of circumstances, it’s just not rewarding, uplifting or fun to interact with a fearful defensive boss. And you only need to shoot (or spook) the messenger once for others to think twice about bringing you bad news or a challenging new POV. And back to that big picture – in the fog of fear the unwillingness to escalate concerns and push back on bad ideas means a leader can develop an overly optimistic view of how well everything is going, and not operate in reality, until it’s too late.
Unfortunately there’s no quick fix for the fog of fear. However the solution does start somewhere – admitting you feel insecure at times and committing yourself to understand how your fears may be impacting your team. Truly fearless approachable leadership is a career-long journey. You can get started today.
